I’m not usually one to look back. I prefer to look ahead and consider what’s next, but for whatever reason, this year, I’m feeling very introspective. As I’m typing this up, I’m looking back through my Flickr and Instagram photos and rediscovering all of the fun I had in 2015. Much of it was with my family…
And nearly all of it involved knitting.
I don’t think I realized when I began knitting how much of a part of my life it would become or the friends I would meet because of it.
But knitting has become the constant in my life. Next to family and friends who are like family, it gives me the most comfort when I’m facing a difficult decision and the most joy when I need it. Looking back over my projects for 2015, I realize I didn’t knit nearly as much as I have in years past, despite working parttime. There were many times I remember simply sitting on the couch holding my yarn. Staring at my needles.
2015 was a year of fun, but also a year of flux. I moved away from places I was comfortable with, and I began new endeavors. Some felt great, and some I was terrified to take the leap. I’ve doubted myself a lot in 2015. I’ve fished for peptalks from my husband and my friends. I’ve stood, staring in the mirror, questioning myself and talking myself up. I’ve avoided situations that make me uncomfortable or anxious.
But looking through all those photos and remembering the fun I had also reminded me that when I took the leap, when I faked confidence until it was real, I had fun. A lot of it. I felt joy. So, my word for 2016 is confidence. I will be strong and confident. And if I’m not feeling that way, then I’ll fake it until it becomes real.